When I fell into depression while staying home after the birth of my second child, I thought I was the only one feeling like this. I was so ashamed because I knew that not every mom that wants to stay home with her kids is able to do so. I hid it for the longest time. I felt lonely, disempowered and lost.
(Confession: I hated having to ask my husband for money all the time.)
The one thing that helped me get out of that dark hole was deciding that I wanted to follow my dream of becoming a professional artist.
For a while I had been secretly wishing and hoping that one day I could start painting. The problem was that, 1. I had no formal training, and 2. I was scared.
I always knew that one of my strengths was my creativity and my love for making art since I was young but playing with art supplies and becoming a professional artist was a huge leap! Or so I thought... I started to watch Youtube videos of artists and learned techniques and styles that inspired me.
“That moment I realized that it is not only our right but also our responsibility to follow our dream and share that gift with the world. "
How It All Started For Me
One day my three year old daughter, I was 41 at the time, was working on an art project that my mom taught her to help with her motor skills. She asked me to take a look at it and I saw a little piece of a magazine cutout that she pasted to a piece of paper and it caught my attention. For some reason I had the sudden urge to go to the art supply store and purchase everything I needed to replicate what I saw on canvas. It was a series of colorful horizontal lines. After that first painting I was completely hooked and I knew that I wanted to do it for the rest of my life. And then fear took over...
I started to worry about not having the real skills necessary to become a professional artist. After all, I didn't go to an art school and was teaching myself how to paint. Who was going to buy anything from me? I also started to have fears about failing, making a fool of myself, feeling humiliated or judged and criticized by others and it stopped me for a while. But painting was what was helping me feel alive. It brought so much happiness and joy to me that it pained me to think that I would not be able to do it any longer.
And then, the pain of the thought of not painting and continue suffering from depression was greater than my fears and I made the decision to take a leap of faith and jump in with both feet. The moment I made that decision I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Suddenly I felt like I had something to work towards to. I started to heal.
Thinking about the prospect of making something with my own two hands and selling it seemed amazing! Not only that, now I had a purpose! I had hope!
One day it occurred to me to do a "Ladies Night Out/Private Art Show" and I asked my sister-in-low if we could do it at her gorgeous home and she said yes! The night was a success and to my pleasant surprise I sold 4 of my flower paintings that night!
Discovering My Mission
My art took off and after a while I realized that my flowers have a greater purpose than just being beautiful pieces of art. They tell my story and the story of so many other SAHM 's who have blossomed after deciding to have the courage to embrace who they really are, follow their hearts and pursue their dreams. They serve as an inspiration to other SAHM 's who may be dreaming and wishing to follow a big dream but are too afraid to pursue it. That moment I realized that it is not only our right but also our responsibility to follow our dream and share that gift with the world. The world desperately needs it.
My healing did not happen from one day to the next. It took a series of small steps that snowballed to where I find myself today. Staying home with my kids was the best decision I ever made. Not only do I get to be with them and see them grow but I have been able to see myself grow and evolve as a person too.
There is power in telling your story to others. Your story is what makes you who you are and it is what makes you bring something to the world in a very unique way. That is why I tell my own story, to inspire and encourage others to go inside and heal so they can blossom.
Are you ready to follow your heart and blossom?
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Nadjah
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