Today I want to talk about something that I went through and I know many other SAHM’s are going through too but nobody wants to talk about: Depression.
Being a stay at home mom has many rewards but many of us suffer from depression and we think that we should keep it to ourselves because staying home with our kids is a privilege and we should be happy all the time. I do agree that it is a privilege and a blessing but we should not ignore how we feel. Did you know that there is such a thing as “Stay at home Depression”? According to a 2012 Gallup poll, SAHM s are more likely to feel depressed than working moms.
“But for some of us, being a stay at home mom brought with it unexpected things that we did not see coming: feelings of isolation, financial dependability and lack of purpose.”
We do love our children and being able to care for them at home but there is also an emptiness inside. And so we feel ashamed because we don’t want to seem ungrateful or that we don’t appreciate our husbands who are able to support our family so we can stay home with the kids. But for some of us, being a stay at home mom brought with it unexpected things that we did not see coming: feelings of isolation, financial dependability and lack of purpose.
We feel isolated because we stay home with not much adult interaction most of the day.
We feel dependent because our husbands are the ones bringing in the money. Deep down we feel disempowered when we have to ask for money all the time. We wish we could find a way to contribute financially without sacrificing staying home with our kids.
We feel a lack of purpose because we begin to loose our identity and see ourselves as our kids' mom, our husbands' wife, our house's housekeeper. Nothing more, nothing less.
There is Hope
From what I’ve been through , and many other SAHM ’s like me, many of these issues, if not all of them, can be solved by pursuing a dream of some sort and taking action. Believe it or not, in the journey itself of following your heart you will start to feel a sense of joy.
I’ve also learned that SAHM ’s go through these struggles so we can find a way to feel empowered and find our purpose. The Universe is training and preparing us for something greater than ourselves and the only way to get to it is by going through these hard times and learning a particular lesson for each and every one for us.
Those life lessons are there by design to:
1. Force us to get closer to the Divine, to something greater than ourselves. When things really bad we find ourselves realizing that we cannot do this alone, nobody can, and we then have no choice but to turn to God/The Universe/The Divine for help.
2. To find out the lesson that will help us find our purpose and maybe, serve others. Pain does have a purpose. Pain is like a ring of fire we must go through. I truly believe that our biggest struggles are the vehicles through which we learn something that will help us grow and, quite possibly, help others grow too.
If we are determined to find out what that "something" is, a door will open to a wonderful world of opportunities and aliveness that you never saw before, that you never thought possible, and it will become the purpose that will serve as the fuel that gives you a sense of self, a sense of purpose and with that, a sense of joy.
When faced with pain and struggle, ask yourself: what is it that I need to learn from this? The answer is the key to your new life. The truth will set you free. You will know the right answer when you feel a sense of joy and relief, when you feel a bolt of energy and determination to take action and ideas will start to flow to you and suddenly you are on your path.
You’ll want to quit many times but you’ll find yourself back on the path because once you’ve found that path, it becomes an obsession and that obsession will nag you until you do something about it.
Depression as I see it is not only necessary but as a gift and it is up to us to tear that gift box apart to discover the treasure inside that will set us free and help us live a happier life.
Are you ready to follow your heart and blossom?
Talk to you soon!
Nadjah
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